barbadosstory

My concern was honest, because I had retired, however, to the end of the year and planned my move in Switzerland; I could not meet them, as well as I  in all the time was also to her home never invited .  We agreed that she would help me in the 1 March week in the translocation and well pay me to her of course everything and we would have to talk a lot of time.  And I could look after them, because the relation to her mother was, she said, possibly badly.  I had always-deep pity on C.

February leant towards to the end; as of now, I had everything packed, when she has called me.  Now, nevertheless, she has one more employment as a manager, not at the place where Dr.Web.  is, on the other landside.  Nevertheless,  I may understand please that she cannot knock out the offer and not be angry (please, please) and do not forget that she would love only me  ….und so further et cetera, just the usual.  What I should say, what I should make, only except my move without her help to make, to well organise.

Certainly, I was angry and now, actually, I wanted this friendship - where one only gives and one only takes - to end in talk.  Why have I already kept to it only not at that time?  How many tears, terms of abuse, insults, and the great disillusion about a wrong friendship I would have saved!

The communication was sporadic, sometimes e-mail, sometimes quite a short phone call.  Always the statement the job would be in order, it is hot only terribly, and homesickness, after the dog, the cats, and me would have them.

Still some short contacts - in which I imagined them, however, only her new work - mostly about Skype.  I was really of the opinion they would work.

Fai...@gmail.com 06/05/07
To: ritaeva.ne...@gmail.com
date: 5/6/2007 14:20
subject: I STILL LIVE

Hello my sweetness
I still live.  Unfortunately, completely without communicative device.

The telephone card in SATURDAY mobile phone is over and they send me a new one. Actually, she should already be there, but South Africa just... Here nobody has hectic rush. In runs to the week it will probably come, then I can write at least SMS.
Here goes, everything well.  The job is relatively tasteless, but this makes no difference.

The people are nice, and everything very well so far.  Only the fact that they permanently afrikaans babble something annoys me - I will still well have to learn it.
But there is to report not a lot... it is always the same one.

Except that, I have a little homesickness, above all ours misses you terribly...  "Ratsch-stunden".

Internet is difficult here because also per minute is subtracted, but I have found here one, which has a things business, and leaves me now and again near the computer.

This is stupid also, because of job search in Europe.
What is there with you new?  Tell me what the nice.
As soon as I have the map, I send you an SMS, and then we can call up maybe short.

I squeeze, I embrace..., and quite a THICK kisses
Greet to me your "child" J.
All all love...
Your longing C ….

Remake: Ratsch-Stunden = hours to make a rasping noise

Then comes nothing more.  Although, of course I have written.  I called up after a few weeks her mother because I was, nevertheless, in worry.

She said literally on my question as if it goes for the daughter: „Well, maybe he has already shot them, she also knows nothing! “  I asked:”Who?” Mrs. R. said: „Well, Er…! “

It turned out, that she had gone very well again to Dr. W.  This made me absolutely perplexed.  Then we have talked long time, and then have told Mrs. R ….hat to me that her daughter was one single disappointment, which would never have followed something right thing qualified, and no regulated activity.  She would have given up for a long time to herself making illusions.  But it has to do money in the house, them, the mother, cannot pay the loans and debts of her small pension any more.

After this message, the friendship was for me finished.  I wanted nothing more have to do with her lies, her deception, and this irresponsibility.

 And, nevertheless... again, when she mailed, how much she misses me that she would not have dared to say the truth, so that I do not condemn them and other more, I could wrapped be.  However, she would come home at the middle of July, what it is already glad to talk, finally, again with me.

"R ….C …  @t-online.de
 to me
Details register 03/07/07

Hello my love

Today from T-Online account, because I cannot log in according to the Google mail any more.  Wrong password.  Though they have sent me a new one, but to the bonbrook address in which I am able from here not near.

Why do you write never back then?

Sooo nastily on me?

Nevertheless, I have tried to explain it what I should have done then other - and one single word and I would not have done it.

Please, please forgive me, nevertheless, and is never bad with me. I lack you however, thus very much.

Yesterday people from Vienna in the Lodge, Dr. St. (dentist) and his companion.  This was a nice change and, finally, once more somebody for chatting.

Otherwise the situation is unchanged, I work the way along me from day to day... promotes me and gets - if generally an answer as usual refusals.  On the 18th of July fly I home...  I already count the days and hours... for two weeks if nothing arises with a job, but with it I do not count already at all and try to compensate me with the fact that I have to go back again.

What is there then new with you, everything OK?

Oh, please Rita please please... writes back to me, nevertheless, a teeny-weeny mail.

Nevertheless, I love you and squeeze firmly.

Greetings also to Ronald...

C...

----------Forwarded message----------

From: Rita Eva N …
Date: 7/3/2007 11:16
Subject: Re: Is never bad, nevertheless.
To: "R …  C …  @t-online.de

Hello C …,

I am not bad, is disappointing only incredibly and in bewilderment.
Why the lying?  I have anticipated it; it has confirmed your mummy whom I have called up to me.
What I mean about it, I have said you everything.  And I have it certainly well intentioned.
If you are happy in this way and above all with such an idiot, this should be right to me.

Brigand’s lair I have written back and also sms I have sent.  I do not know where they are.  However, I credit this man that he steals this.  C …, it gives certainly here also a possibility.  And something else, your mummy is unlocked very much.  What she has said me that have surprised me.  I believe you estimate them wrong.

But, anyway, it is everything your decision.  You to me are absent I probably do not need to stress largely.  Very much even... and once more *to obliged * one has do nothing at all to.

With me everything is so far OK, we have settled down very well.  Only the car is broken, and I must save for a new one.  At the moment, I am a person travelling by train what I make with pleasure, but a car would sometimes feel well.

C... it gives certainly to find a possibility also here a job.  I know it is hard to be screwed the claims down, but is found anything throughout.  It must not be in South Africa.  It do not become the house anyhow can keep; your mummy also says this.  I know it is absolutely discouraging, but you can tear yourself there out.  Announce private bankruptcy and it are your debts, which stack up themselves more, and more, loose.

For months, I have with nobody more can rattle, Si.  also does not announce itself any more.  The forum bobs up and down thus before itself.  I have made the wedding newspaper for Maxi and Sunny. Unfortunately, there is V ….  she would be quite ready with a contribution in the remains, but.

Still I do not go especially with pleasure to this event, but this is with me always in such a way.

The next week there comes Carl... he is still in the occupational stress.  There nothing has changed.
Let us see what this does, believes me; sometimes I am quite rather lonesome.  But one on the whole lot gets used.

 Oh, yes, I have said this word, I have said come to me, and we talk and see what happen.  But your friend Brigitte or in such a way, has you tried to persuade, so what I remains to be done?

I like you also very much, am maybe so horrified I, therefore that you had to prostitute yourself again to this monster.  You do not need this.  Come back and we talk, but this time honestly.R … was also away completely there and when he has to know what you have made again.

I squeeze quite firmly.
Rita

So, the lies thus serve narcissistic people as a widely unaware strategy to deny painful realities, to manipulate others and to raise her self-esteem.  (Charles Ford)

Notorious liars stick to this desirable world, a mixture of lie, mania, and phoney recollections, often stubbornly.  (Anton Delbrück)

However, on looking more carefully appears that liars are socially isolated by no means.  Many would have amorous affairs, friends, and family.  Liars need constantly people who can be to lie to.  (Hans Stoffels)

However, where from I had to beware of, that C... belonged to these people, I have believed in honest friendship.

Sometimes I think about it whether I, with my honesty, the wrong way went.  Since subsequently I had to tell lies for them and lie what was so disagreeable to me towards very nice friends.  However, I said the truth I would disgrace of my friend and, nevertheless, I liked them. My son has recognised this, but I have not belonged on him.  And I regret this today deeply.  Many have known it, because they knew C. long since, but has said it me nobody.